I already went into detail about how good intentions do not automatically lead to good music.  Well, there is another subject that I think is even more touchy than that.  Tragedy and horrible backstories for artists do not excuse their music from criticism either.

It may sound really mean, but unfortunately, it has to be done.  Sometimes, bad songs happen at the worst times, or an artist with plenty of bad songs goes through a nightmarish experience that leaves you feeling horrible for them.  But unfortunately, those stories do not automatically make their songs better.

In rock music, probably the best example involves Linkin Park and their frontman Chester Bennington, whose final album One More Light came out in May 2017, just two months before Bennington’s suicide at the age of 41.  Bennington’s suicide was a terrible moment in music, as it robbed us of one of the most undeniable vocal talents of the 2000’s far too soon.  But as tragic as his death was, unfortunately it does not take away that One More Light is probably Linkin Park’s worst album.  While I haven’t heard the whole album, I have heard some songs here and there from it, and the songs are poorly put together and, in some cases, so boring they are the audio equivalent of NyQuil.  Try listening to lead single “Heavy” without falling asleep.

But similarly, you can discover songs from an artist going through tragedy and loss and find out that despite the devastation they are going through, that does not mean they are immune to criticism.  And that brings us to ZZ Top.

I began preliminary work on this project in the Spring of 2021, after I completed the bulk of my 1963 lists, before finally finishing the worst list in October of that year.  During this project, longtime ZZ Top bassist Dusty Hill passed away at the age of 72, due to chronic bursitis.  I feel sympathy for ZZ Top and hope they are able to put the tragedy behind them and continue rocking.  I’m a broken record at this point, but like many of the bands on this list, ZZ Top is a good band.  Their first hit, 1973’s “La Grange,” became one of my first classic rock songs in heavy rotation thanks to Guitar Hero III, and it still rocks to this day even though it’s an obvious rip-off of “Shake Your Hips” by The Rolling Stones.  I guess that special Texan energy gave them a pass.  Then in 1983, they struck gold with Eliminator, a diamond-selling album filled with chunky guitar riffs and slick production stretching from Dallas to Houston.  Few may remember, but ZZ Top was among the biggest mainstream rock bands of 1990, with three songs reaching the number one slot on the chart that year alone.  But all good things must come to an end.  Two months after the death of Hill, I listened to this cover song for the first time in preparation for this list, and… Oh, no.

No.

(record scratch)

No, no, no, no, no, no…

“Viva Las Vegas” – ZZ Top

Mainstream Rock
#16 peak (April 18, 1992), 3 weeks on chart

UK
#10 peak (April 18, 1992)
#28 year-end, 7 weeks on chart

The first time I heard this song, I thought for a hot second that this may be the worst rock song of the year.  ZZ Top’s rendition of “Viva Las Vegas” is shocking, a horrifically dated experiment that brought ZZ Top’s winning streak come crashing down in a huge way.  How did this happen?  Well, let’s compare the two.

I don’t even truly love the original “Viva Las Vegas,” but I at least understand why it is appreciated.  Originally written by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman as the title track to yet another mediocre Elvis musical in 1964, it initially failed to reach the top 20, and only became a true hit song decades later when it began being used in Vegas-related commercials ad nauseum.  It isn’t my favorite Elvis song – those honors go to “All Shook Up,” “Can’t Help Falling In Love,” and “Burning Love” – but it is at least fast-paced and features another great vocal performance by the King.  And although Elvis eventually self-destructed under a wave of prescription drugs, extramarital affairs (and that’s putting it mildly), obsession with killing his enemies, and peanut butter and banana sandwiches… I still don’t think he deserved this.  ZZ Top, a band that was usually good, took one of his classic songs, and deep-fried it so it became about as healthy as a peanut butter and banana sandwich, without any of the nutritional value.

It all starts with the tempo.  One of the main strengths of “Viva Las Vegas” is its fast, brisk pace, where it moves along at 144 beats per measure.  In order to make the song more ZZ Top-esque, they slowed down the tempo to about 120 bpm.  Instead of cruising down the Las Vegas strip, the ZZ Top cover sounds like it’s driving with a broken axle.  It is just slow and lumbering in its pace.  A bigger problem comes from the instrumentation, where the flamenco guitars and bongos of the original are swapped out for ZZ Top’s trademark chunky guitars.  Usually Billy Gibbons could do no wrong with the guitar, as “La Grange” and “Sharp Dressed Man” would indicate.  But here, he plays a repetitive three chord riff that quickly grows tiresome.  And as happens so often on a worst list, it gets worse.  The guitar, for all its weaknesses, is by far the best part of the instrumentation, because it could have worked if attached to a better song.  The late Dusty Hill is invisible on the song, as I couldn’t hear his bass against the guitar and percussion.  For the percussion section, Frank Beard has to contend with an irritating collection of electronic effects.  Oh dear God, why did they do this? 

The electronic effects are what effectively turn this song from a mediocre cover to one of the worst songs of the year.  They are unstable and herky-jerky, and quickly distract from the main thrust of “Viva Las Vegas.”  Furthermore, their high-pitched, mechanical sound makes it sound as if they’re preparing to be used in an industrial park, at a pitch only dogs can hear.  For the record, I wasn’t making up the part where the record scratch happens.  It happens at least three times during the song in parts where the guitars drop out: in the intro, the bridge, and the beginning of the outro.  That’s right.  A ZZ Top single with a record scratch.  I don’t even know what to say anymore.

And finally, I present to you the biggest problem of the cover.  It’s played in a higher key than the original.  Instead of its original key of G major, ZZ Top raises the key up to B minor.  That could have worked… with a better technical singer.  Not to say Billy Gibbons is a bad singer, but Elvis is one of the greatest vocalists of all time.  Everyone knows the part where Elvis belts out his high note on the final “Viva… Viva… Las VEGASSSSSS!” on the original.  Well, on the remake, Billy Gibbons begins singing the line…

Viva… Vivaaaa…
Hua, hua, hua

…And just stops.  He can’t reach the note due to the song’s higher key and his more limited vocal range, so the band doesn’t even try for a climax.  They just resort to Gibbons doing an embarrassing Elvis impersonation and move on to the outro.  Even as a non-singer, I know the rule.  If you can’t sing the song in proper key as required, don’t sing it in that key.  It’s simple!  Not to mention the outro guitar solo which begins its fade out on the second chord rather than the primary chord.  It just adds an odd effect to the song’s conclusion.

As good as ZZ Top was, looking back on my limited knowledge on the band after Eliminator, I have a feeling they had a definitively bad song coming.  After the massive success of Eliminator and the less popular, but still successful Afterburner, in 1987 ZZ Top released a box set of their old albums entitled The Six Pack, where they randomly decided to remix their seventies classics with the synths and heavy production from Eliminator.  When even AllMusic calls your album a disaster, you know you failed.  And although 1990’s Recycler was very successful, I’ve heard mixed things about it.  The point being, ZZ Top was slowly falling under a sea of synthesizers and gimmicks.  It was all leading up to this: a remake of an Elvis Presley song that somehow stands as a bizarre crossroads between ZZ Top and The Prodigy.  And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to hear Billy Gibbons sing “Smack My B**ch Up.”

The reason why this song ranks below the more obviously bad “Roll The Bones” is because while that song was bad, at least it was an attempt by Rush to present a message and to try to break some new ground for the band.  ZZ Top’s cover of “Viva Las Vegas,” on the other hand, is just utterly mystifying.  I don’t know why they chose to cover this particular song, and I cannot for the life of me understand why they turned it into a Blues Rock/Electronica hybrid.  Dusty Hill deserves to be remembered for ZZ Top’s earlier songs, rather than for this disaster.

UP NEXT: Before we reveal the worst rock song of the year, let’s go through some dishonorable mentions.

SOURCES

Key and BPM for both versions of “Viva Las Vegas” from Tunebat: https://tunebat.com/Info/Viva-Las-Vegas-Elvis-Presley/5Q7ayTarb9Tpmkik5cVMug
https://tunebat.com/Info/Viva-Las-Vegas-ZZ-Top/5JFywJVhSvuJI6KB9ikgjA

Erlewine, Stephen Thomas. “Six Pack – ZZ Top.” AllMusic 2022. Web. 20 August 2022 https://www.allmusic.com/album/six-pack-mw0000651365.

IMAGE SOURCES

Greatest Hits album cover from Amazon

Image from music video from Rate Your Music