Going through this year-end list, I came across convinced that the most influential song of the year was Elvis Presley’s “Are You Lonesome Tonight?”  This is because of the bridge, where Elvis famously speaks to his love interest and equates the world to a stage.  I don’t know what happened, but several artists attempted this in 1963.  Elvis was able to pull it off because, well, he’s an icon for coolness.  He could do things like star in crappy musicals and make weird gospel albums and he would still be considered cool.  Everyone who imitated Elvis all failed, to varying degrees.

We already went over April Stevens attempting to be sweet by speaking the verse to “Deep Purple” and failing.  But there was also Bobby Bare trying to do the same in “500 Miles Away From Home” and falling on his face.  And then there was this, the biggest example of all, coming from a country singer who scored a crossover hit… with the worst breakup song of the year.

“Still” – Bill Anderson

#8 peak
#51 year-end

Bill Anderson is a country singer from Decatur, Georgia, near Atlanta.  He was a pretty consistent country hitmaker throughout the sixties and seventies, scoring five number ones on the country charts.  Despite all his success in Nashville, this was his only hit song on the mainstream charts.  What a shame, because this song is an embarrassment.

Before we start, real talk.  Country isn’t my genre.  It never has been.  While I love rock music of all types and alternative music, and have more recently gained an affinity for 70’s soul music, my country music explorations have been limited to only a few albums, and whatever crosses over into the mainstream.  But I understand why people like it.  There are ways to make country music sound good.  To stay on topic with 60’s country pop, my Grandma assigned me to listen to Eddy Arnold when her mother died, as he was one of her favorite artists, and I found myself enjoying “What’s He Doing In My World.”  Later in the decade, we had Gram Parsons essentially turning The Byrds into a country band on Sweetheart of the Rodeo, and even earlier Byrds songs like “Time Between” and “Wasn’t Born To Follow” had an obvious country influence.

I don’t think “Still” would have worked in any genre, Country or otherwise.  The first reason is because of the thesis statement, as outlined in the chorus.  Yet again, we have a guy who can’t get over the fact that the love of his life has left him.  Was the only thing people cared about in 1963 their wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or love interest?  I understand that after a breakup or when someone turns you down, you are going to have residual feelings about this person, but come on, dude.  Move the heck on.  So what makes this particular version worse than the others we’ve discussed here?  Simple.  Three words.

SPOKEN.  WORD.  VERSES.

I don’t know who you’re with, I don’t even know where you’ve gone.  My only hope is that someday you might hear this song.  And you’ll know, I wrote it especially for you.  And I love you, wherever you are.

Sorry, I can’t.  I just can’t.  Your only wish in life is to write a song that your ex hears.  I don’t know what’s wrong with people who have this ambition.  Since she’ll know he wrote it for her, does that mean he’s gonna put her full name in the song, or specifically discuss where they lived and where they frequented?  I mean, it’s “especially for her.”  Creep.  

Wait… there’s another spoken word verse?

This flame in my heart is like an eternal fire.  For every day it burns hotter and every day it burns higher, and I haven’t been able to put out one little flicker!  Not even with all of these tears.  My friends all think, I’m crazy and maybe I am.  

Yes, Bill.  You are crazy.

But I’ll carry this torch just as long as I can, for someday you might just decide to come home.  And I want you to know, I’m still here.

You really think she’ll come back?  Like, what galaxy do you live on?  She especially won’t come back when she finds out she spoke directly to you for 75% of it!

This song goes from disturbing in the first verse to laughably bad in the second.  There’s no way anyone would take this as serious or heartfelt.  Life is not like the movies, your ex is not going to be running back to you one day.  It just doesn’t happen.  Even when he admits he is “crazy” in the second verse, he shows an even more stubborn refusal to change.  How Bill Anderson thought this would be a plausible strategy to win his girlfriend back… beats me.

“Still” is so bad, it’s kind of amazing.  There have been tons of songs like “The End Of The World” and “I Wanna Be Around” that are melodramatic, but “Still” takes the ridiculousness of terrible breakup songs to a new level.  I almost would recommend that whoever reads this article listen to the song, just to see how much worse a breakup song can be when it tries to be sentimental.  This song really was the precursor to the terrible and misplaced rap verses we got in songs such as “Run It!,” “California Gurls,” and “Friday,” with the jarring effect of hearing Anderson’s abrupt transition from singing to speaking.  And we still have two more songs to go.  Jesus.

UP NEXT: At #2, the most disgusting song of the year.

IMAGE SOURCES

Single cover from Genius

Photo of Bill Anderson from Country Music Hall Of Fame