Every so often, there’s a song or two that just sneaks up on me with how bad it truly is. Last year, the song was “We Are Chaos” by the Human Piece Of Garbage Known As Marilyn Manson. This year there were quite a few. But the main one was my first entry today.

I heard this song during preliminary listening, and tossed it off as just some random, disposable song about simple pleasures. Then during the making of this list, YouTube content creators released their worst lists and repeatedly bashed this song’s parent album as among the worst albums of the year. In any genre. I then thought, “Ok, it’s kinda bad, I’ll put it in as a dishonorable mention, but I can’t put it on just because others are bashing it.” Finally, one day, my conscience hit me and yelled out, “NELSON, THIS IS CAR COMMERCIAL MUSIC!” And then it all made sense.

“Everything We Need” – A Day To Remember

Rock
#2 peak (June 19, 2021)
#26 year-end, 23 weeks on chart

I don’t know much about this band. What can I say, the late 2000’s and 2010’s aren’t my period for music. The one song I knew before I started this hobby was “End Of Me,” simply because 94.1 wouldn’t stop playing the song one summer while I was home from college. But yeah, this year A Day To Remember put out their first record in five years, You’re Welcome. Part of my motivation for finally giving in and taking the obvious route was because last year, I was way too kind to the album’s single “Resentment,” which I initially neglected to include on my dishonorable mentions, but on reflection could have made that worst list too with its overprocessed guitars and cartoonish anger. And to those wondering, no, the eloquently titled song “F**k You Money” was not eligible because it was not a single and did not chart. So we’ll have to settle for what’s available.

“Everything We Need” is a song about enjoying the simple pleasures in life. That could be a good idea, but between this and “Fancy Like,” this was NOT a good year to celebrate cheap thrills. The chorus discusses how he and his companion consists of “everything we need,” which could be mocked for its lack of specificity throughout the rest of the song, and its redundancy. But that is not the easiest part to mock. Jeremy, bring me the pre-chorus. Thanks.

I’m doing buck 20 on I-75, 75, 75
Just to see if I’m dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive

Much like last year with AJR’s “Bang!,” for the longest time I misinterpreted this lyric. I thought he was saying “’bout 20.” But no, he’s not going 20, he’s going 120. In, at most, a 70 mph zone. I’ve never driven that fast in my life, Mr. McKinnon, but I’m pretty sure based on exposure from World’s Wildest Police Videos, if you drove 120 on I-75, you would not be seeing whether or not you’re alive. You’d be dead. At some point, you would lose control of your car and either crash into an innocent car on the freeway, or swerve off the road and crash into a field or a guardrail. And in the midwest regions of the country where I’m familiar with I-75, I’m pretty sure it would go even worse. I can’t imagine how badly it would go in that section of I-75 between Toledo and Detroit which has been ripped up for construction for most of the year.

“I’m doing buck 20 on I-75… HOLY GOD!”
(crashes into I Hate Steven Singer! billboard)

And you think this helps you meditate? The whole rest of this song is about how speeding on the interstate helps the song’s narrator relax. God, this song is weird.

Then we get to the music. I was way too forgiving to this music for the longest time. My thought was it was just some nice, gentle acoustic rock song. But finally, I replayed the chorus and the criticism this album has been getting, that it’s yet another half-baked Imagine Dragons wannabe record, came to me. This is not rock music. Well, if it is, it’s barely rock music. “Everything We Need” is, first and foremost, car commercial music.

When the chorus comes in, the dead-stop acoustic guitar chords lead not to an energetic hook, but a swampy morass of percussive sound effects, keyboards, gang vocals, and friggin’ hand claps. This legit sounds like an ad for a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Everything is there. The lyrics about driving, the incredibly generic music with no attitude whatsoever. Adding to it, the whole song follows the same four chord structure that never changes, except for the bridge where the keyboards and backing vocals completely overtake the guitar. It wants to be a climax, but all it does is reinforce just how wrong the decision to add the keyboards was.

“Everything We Need” is just surreal. I don’t know much about A Day To Remember, but I know that this pop-rock-ad jingle music is not in their wheelhouse. It may not be the worst song from You’re Welcome, but it’s the song that inspires the same reaction as mine when I initially heard “Milkshake”: The song where I keep waiting to hear what company it’s for only to learn I, in fact, did hear a full song. And with all that, buy my new SUV, the Doctor Mountain Climber. Comes with first in class towing and 25 mpg. Available in 4WD and AWD.

UP NEXT: Billy Squier no longer has the worst music video of all time. Who topped him at number nine?